OKAY SO I'M DOING THIS
Okay so I’m doing this.
I have never confessed my feelings before
and unfortunately for me,
there is no Cyrano hiding in the communal bathroom
hissing me sweet nothings to win your affection.
You can’t see it, but behind me,
is an invisible trail of unrequited crushes that perhaps had an inkling,
but never truly knew the full extent of my adoration.
I have miscalculated,
and at times straight up fantasized.
Yet tonight, I am weighing the ease and comfort of our accustomed repartee
of bespoke jokes and pondering mutual fascinations,
against the odds that you also desire the goodies and trappings
that come in that ribbon-tied box called
“More than friends”
I know all I have to do is pull up sound from my throat
and project it out.
When I finally do,
it is shaky and quivering.
The ever just as unsure "ums" come bumbling forth
as the realm of possibility shrinks into the carpet beneath me.
But then, I catch in your eye
that glint of wet
like a spring peeper in the rain
signaling new warmth
exclaiming in its chirrup
at long last, at long last!
On the outskirts of the agora,
Three pillars down from the altar of Zeus
Stands my pottery shop.
My offerings are the vases I mold
on the wheel like a twister between my hands
My foot unflagging on the pedal.
They clay hardens making my fingertips chalky
And now through the paint, I pray for what could be;
Success that lies just beyond the shadow of the Parthenon,
Aphrodite granting me the joyous love I have prayed for,
And a lifetime so long it would seem I drank ambrosia.
And yet, with the firing of the kiln I know.
That parts of the clay will crumble in the heat
to powder and unrecognizable shards.
But I return to my workshop still,
For another cold, grey block.
Gail Bello is a playwright and poet from Waltham, Massachusetts. Her work has been published in The Sandy River Review, Ripple Feminist Zine, Collective Unrest, Turnpike Magazine, Bonnie's Crew, Sad Girl Review, Tiny Flames Press, Philosophical Idiot and Pussy Magic. She is thrilled and honored to be published in Vamp Cat. Find her on Twitter @AquajadeGail, or at: https://thaumaturgedramaturge.wordpress.com