'Okay So I'm Doing This' & 'Ancient Hopes': Two Poems by Gail Bello

OKAY SO I'M DOING THIS

Okay so I’m doing this.

I have never confessed my feelings before

and unfortunately for me,

there is no Cyrano hiding in the communal bathroom

hissing me sweet nothings to win your affection.

You can’t see it, but behind me,

is an invisible trail of unrequited crushes that perhaps had an inkling,

but never truly knew the full extent of my adoration.

I have miscalculated,

misinterpreted,

reinterpreted,

second guessed,

overanalyzed

and at times straight up fantasized.

Yet tonight, I am weighing the ease and comfort of our accustomed repartee

of bespoke jokes and pondering mutual fascinations,

against the odds that you also desire the goodies and trappings

that come in that ribbon-tied box called

“More than friends”

I know all I have to do is pull up sound from my throat

and project it out.

When I finally do,

it is shaky and quivering.

The ever just as unsure "ums" come bumbling forth

as the realm of possibility shrinks into the carpet beneath me.

But then, I catch in your eye

that glint of wet

like a spring peeper in the rain

signaling new warmth

exclaiming in its chirrup

at long last, at long last!

---

ANCIENT HOPES

On the outskirts of the agora,

Three pillars down from the altar of Zeus

Stands my pottery shop.

My offerings are the vases I mold

on the wheel like a twister between my hands

My foot unflagging on the pedal.

They clay hardens making my fingertips chalky

And now through the paint, I pray for what could be;

Success that lies just beyond the shadow of the Parthenon,

Aphrodite granting me the joyous love I have prayed for,

And a lifetime so long it would seem I drank ambrosia.

And yet, with the firing of the kiln I know.

That parts of the clay will crumble in the heat

to powder and unrecognizable shards.

But I return to my workshop still,

For another cold, grey block.

---

Gail Bello is a playwright and poet from Waltham, Massachusetts. Her work has been published in The Sandy River Review, Ripple Feminist Zine, Collective Unrest, Turnpike Magazine, Bonnie's Crew, Sad Girl Review, Tiny Flames Press, Philosophical Idiot and Pussy Magic. She is thrilled and honored to be published in Vamp Cat. Find her on Twitter @AquajadeGail, or at: https://thaumaturgedramaturge.wordpress.com